Sorry not positive cuz you've got a weird problem but it's worth a try
The ignition switch (neutral safety switch) might be bad. It makes a variety of electrical connections.
Another idea. . . The electrical ground might be faulty. This means that when one thing turns on (lets say when a brake light turns on), it raises the potential of ground (creating a ground loop). This causes another thing to activate. Essentially, without a ground, some items might be connected in series (through what used to be ground). So, two lights might dimly glow (such as the turn signal and tail light).
Another idea. . . The car might have a burglar alarm hooked into a variety of systems, designed to activate a lot of things all at once?
Another idea. . . Maybe the fuse box is shorted. This would put power where it shouldn't be.
Perhaps Jamison J is right? It is possible that someone played a prank on you and activated a lot of things in your car.
All these electrical-based nonsenses will in fact happen if the battery voltage is low. If you can jump it again and run it for at least half an hour that might do the trick, but don't bet on it. These days when a battery is completely dead it rarely resurrects satisfactorily and you probably need a new one.
Check and make sure your ground is good first. If the ground is good then you probably need a new battery and or alternator. A bad computer is a possibility but not likely. Sounds like a bad battery or alternator to me though.
bad connection to the battery
check the ground on the battery all that intermittant behavior thats all it can be if the ground is good then its the ground lug inside the battery and youll need a new one get a good charge on it before you junk it if your diodes in the alternator have eletrolisis 10 minutes aint a good enough charge the clock in your stereo is 1/2 amp 2 months would send batt to negitive charge next time unhook your battery if your gonna store the ground tho is the only thing that could cause all your describing
Sounds like a horrible pranks, half way in reading I thought it was the battery but I have nooo idea what's up with that
You stuffed the computer if it has one ,try rebooting it by disconnecting the neutral cable from battery.wait then reconnect.
I left for 2 months and left my car in the garage since my brother couldn't pick it up. I come back and it was absolutely dead. Nothing turned on. I jumped it and it worked. Took it around for ten minutes then came back. The second i parked the car all the interior lights starting flashing really quickly and the cluster starting going all over the place. The car alarm was going off and on and it was making the locking sound. Everything the car could do, you name it. It done it in that few minutes. A/C came on and off. Headlights flashed on and off. Hazard and horn starting going off. Power locks were going insane also. Keep in mind that the car was still on while this was going on. As of now, I can still start it fine but as soon as I pull the car into park everything starts going nuts and I can turn the car off and it will still do it. Help please
